• Nathaniel G. Sands

The Brother I Never Had

People are always shocked when they hear the story of mine and Lucas' friendship. It's quite often you will find the two of us taking the kids on activity's, or laughing over a pint at the bar. From helping each other fix things, build things, write things or buy things - Moving in together, vacationing together, matching tattoo's (of course), to flattering nicknames (the hot dad's), over the past few years the two of us have become as good as brothers. Whenever we explain our story, more often than not, jaws drop.

Lucas fixing the VCR...thats right, the VCR

I was indifferent to Lucas the first time I met him. To be honest, when Katrina started dating him I didn't want anything to do with him. Not too long into their relationship she told me he was moving in with her. I started to talk more with him at this point. He was always friendly - I'm sure I usually wasn't; But he was now becoming a major figure in my daughter's life so I had to give him a chance.

When Katrina told me she was pregnant with his child I wouldn't say I was necessarily excited. In fact, it took about six months after Emerson was born for me to even hold him - and I love babies! The past always lingers; it's okay to need time to move on. I needed those months to ground myself, to be okay with this new boy I was going to watch grow up and who was going to be a prominent figure in my daughter's life. At that time I didn't know how close him and I would truly get, but of mine and Emerson's relationship another day... back to me and Lucas.

When Emerson was born, Katrina and Lucas got a bigger place in the townhouse complex they lived in. Given their old place opened up, (in fact, the very townhome Katrina and I lived in years prior), I snagged it, and we now became neighbours. Many found this to be odd, but this was vital to the growth of our communal relationship. Not only could Leah walk between each house everyday (and truly she did), I now found many days hanging out with Lucas, Katrina, and Emerson.

In the summer of 2017, Lucas and Katrina were having troubles in their relationship. Lucas and I spent a lot of time together that summer, even going to Kamloops to help during the major fire season the interior had. That trip was another unbelievable tale, one that needs it's own blog post, so again, for another day...

He ended up living with me that summer, temporarily at first, but as it seemed their relationship was going to end it became permanent. It was difficult squeezing the guy in, (Not just because he's 6'5) but also with his son into a two bedroom townhouse, (with a big dog, and now his little dog) it seemed we needed more space. Being such good friends, and enjoying the fact the kids were spending so much more time together, we looked into getting a bigger place, prompting our year together in a home at the lower end of Hammond.

Backyard camping in our new place together

That year was quite a ride. I always say you don't really know someone until you live with them. The first argument over who's going to do the dishes can be a personal revelation. Certainly moving in together prompted some struggles, but I think both of us would say we came out on the other end stronger than ever. Going through difficult times together can be exactly what a relationship needs to prove the love you have for each. I think it's safe to say after all we've been through, Lucas and I certainly love each other.

When we discussed signing the lease, the two of us knew this wouldn't last forever. We agreed that after a year the two of us would most likely separate our own ways, and that's exactly what happened. But we still see each other almost daily, or at least send a text or phone call. I think it's safe to say the two of us will grow old together watching our children grow up and give each that extra level of support necessary for the family to thrive. I feel so blessed to have him in my life, as does the rest of my family, and there's no doubt he feels the same way.

And I can't leave out that even though I have two sisters already, I am stoked to welcome another into the family! During our time living together, Lucas came home from a weekend he spent in his home town on Vancouver Island where he met a gem, Hannah Beard. Every weekend from then on he was either over there or she was staying with us. The first time I saw the two together I saw the love they each had for each other but dared not express so soon - Concealing their feelings certainly didn't last long. The two are now engaged to be married, and I am just as excited to grow old with her as I am with him.

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